I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
