hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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