sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
