I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
