my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
