Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
