i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
