Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
