I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
