I love black thongs
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
