She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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