We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
