Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
