Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
