I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
try to milk me bitch
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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