Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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