I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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