I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
