I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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