Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
