Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
