I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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