I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
