That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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