Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
