Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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