Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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