Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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