yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
When did angry sex become our thing?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
