I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
two words...techno handjob
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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