Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
