Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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