she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
