making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
