NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
