who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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