walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
