So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
