Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
we should paint friendship bongs
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