you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
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