Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
