I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
