butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
