She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
