hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
