Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
