she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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