I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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