You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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