wrigley field is MILF paradise
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
