i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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