I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
